The Cheat Tank
by Chuckling-Ghost
Summary: A Gamer story with a little twist: The gamer in question has unlocked the Cheats Menu. Come along and enjoy the ride as Saikoro "Tank" Toride goes through the odd ninja war game his life has become and tries to figure out just how many others there are like him running around. (MultipleGamerOC's)(OCxHarem) WARNING: Cheaters beware, you might just bite off more than you can chew!
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1 – Scenario 1, Part 1

Kakashi knew he was in deep shit when his foot missed the branch. A Jonin of Konoha _never_ missed the branch. Not even if they were injured and especially not when there were half a dozen Iwa-nin on his case. _If I live through this,_ Kakashi thought as he narrowly managed to catch a lower branch with his good hand and flip to the ground, _I am never telling anyone about it._

Even as he was landing, so were the Iwa-nin. Kakashi grimaced, _Great, and they're all armored. That's gonna make this harder._ Iwa-nin normally weren't that difficult to beat. Just separate them from their senjutsu powered fuin-weapons and they were down to just basic taijutsu and other armaments. However, when they were _armored_ , it was a different story. It was the difference between knocking down a slightly thicker than average weed and peeling the bark off a tree. The difficulty was compounded because usually an armored Iwa-nin had multiple fuin-armaments and you never quite knew which piece it was that was powering them.

 _Where's an avalanche when I need one?_ Kakashi thought to himself with a grimace as he clutched the wound in his side and eyeballed each of them with his Sharingan, _Okay, one swordsman, no telling what that does, looks like a chain flail, probably electrified, a hammer, probably a shockwave maker, a crossbow, probably one of those infinite reloaders, that one doesn't appear to have any, probably a taijutsu specialist with some absurd shit like lightning powered gauntlets that I'll never get off him, and last but not least the leader with the flaming naginata._ _I hate fighting Iwa-nin…_

"Well, well, well," said leader with a flaming naginata drawled, "You've lead us on quite a chase Mr. Leaf Nin." _Shit…_ Kakashi thought, _this'll mean war if they retrieve even a shred of my uniform to prove it was me…_ "So," the leader continued with what had to be a grin inside his samurai like helmet, "Are you going to surrender or give us some satisfaction?"

"Ohhh…I think I'll be merciful," Kakashi smiled behind his mask as he flicked a kunai out of his sleeve and into his hand, "Walk away now and forget you saw me, and nobody gets hurt."

The Iwa-nin burst out laughing and Kakashi subtly primed the layer of explosives inside his ANBU flak jacket. It might not kill them, but it would at least shake them up and destroy the evidence. Then Kakashi nearly jumped from his skin in surprise as the leader of the Iwa-nin came flying towards him with a sound of armor shattering and bones splintering. Kakashi skipped out of the way and looked in shock at the spot where the Iwa-nin had been as the others sprang to their guard and turned to examine their new opponent.

Before the Iwa-nin's leader hit the tree, the diminutive assailant was already airborne on a burst of steam and torqueing a massive kick into the helmet of the one with the hammer. Kakashi stared in shock as Hammer's head flew off when the kick connected. The diminutive figure spun to the ground and took a moment to look at the body with a raised eyebrow as it slumped to the ground, "Seriously?" He looked around at the Iwa-nin, "When _are_ you people going to realize that putting a weak person in a strong suit does not make a strong fighter?"

He sighed as the Iwa-nin gawked, "Right. You people _strive_ to disappoint me. Ow." He added as the chain flail, which was loaded with wind chakra rather than lightning, bounced off his head. He caught it before it could ricochet too far away and yanked, completely heedless of the cutting aura which should have gone through his head and hand like a razor sharp battle axe. Kakashi noted the cloud of steam that erupted around him as the Iwa-nin went flying into a massive punch that absolutely decked him, _Boil release?_

A white spear suddenly appeared in the small fighter's hand and then turned to metal before plunging down through a chink in the Iwa-nin's armor and sending blood fountaining up as the small fighter stepped back out of the way and pulled the spear out. It was only then that Kakashi was able to get a good look at the small figure that had summarily wiped out three of his assailants as easily as blowing his nose.

The boy, for Kakashi knew from the voice and size that there was no way it was an adult, had a beige scarf and a speckled brown jacket over a dark red shirt and gray pants with dull black boots. He had spiky brown hair and warm brown eyes set in ghostly pale skin. _Not Orochimaru's brand of chalky white,_ Kakashi thought, _more like Itachi-ku-speak of the devil._

The boy set his metal spear on his shoulder and quirked an eyebrow as he snorted, "Kill stealer."

Itachi shrugged as the last of the Iwa-nin fell with blood spurting from between their helmet and breast plate, "Sorry. I like to help when I can." Then he frowned, "I wasn't aware we were sending reinforcements other than me." He blinked his Sharingan on and his eyebrows went up, "Are you one of Danzo's?"

The kid raised his own eyebrow in return, "Ehhh? Who's Danzo? Ah, wait, I know. Forgot my letter…" He rummaged around in his coat with his free hand and fished out a small scroll with a grin, "Ah, here we are!" He tossed it to Kakashi who reached out and caught it. Kakashi had a little bit of a time opening it with one hand, but he found the contents to be worth the trouble. He looked around the scroll at the boy, _There's no doubt about it…_

"Well," he declared as he rolled the scroll back up, "That changes things. Come on, we'll take you back to Konoha with us." Itachi caught him by the shoulder, "Are you sure? The kid's smarter than most Jonin. He could be a plant." Kakashi leaned in close and whispered to him what had been in the scroll. Itachi lurched back in surprise and looked at the boy in surprise who was looking back at them with a bemused grin, "Oh, well…yes I suppose that makes sense…but…if they're alive, then where are they?"

"Behind you," the boy replied simply. Itachi had an instant to be alarmed and then he blacked out.

…

Later

…

"Well," Kakashi said with a grin as he pulled Itachi up over his shoulder, now back to perfect health, "Let's get headed back. We need to report in." Then he was gone. The boy shot one last look over his shoulder at his parents and saw that they had already disappeared. He sighed and muttered to himself, "Let the games begin." He shot a glare at the objective box that told him to follow Kakashi and flicked three of his fingers into the shape of an A to dispel it.

 _That was quite possibly the most annoying two weeks of level grinding EVER,_ Tank thought to himself. Being stuffed into the body of a twelve-year old with all the impatience that came with it hadn't made things any easier as the amount of experience he gained from the training minigames became less, and _less_ , and **_less_** until he was barely getting 10 exp for each successful round and could see the damn little lines of his chakra in the earth and flames from his training in his sleep. He knew the little training monologues by heart and could tell anyone the steps for the most efficient play through of over a dozen training minigames. In short, he knew the tutorial camp so well he could've written a walkthrough of it.

 _The other really horrible thing,_ he mused to himself, _is that Player's Mom is freakin' HOT and my hormones haven't been this out of control in years! At least she was supremely helpful._ _Well, first thing's first: corpse raiding, yay!_

He quickly began rummaging through the dead Iwa-nin's belongings. _Let's see…_ he mused as he rifled through the first Iwa-nin's gear, _Steel Kunai x25, Steel Shuriken x25, Ninja Wire x1, Poison (?) x2…Okay I can use all this…_ He quickly stuffed it all into his _Leather Kunai Pouch_ and continued checking the Iwa-nin's items, the little dialogue box popping up with every item he touched to tell him more, different colors indicating their nature. _Ooh…a Legendary Grade Weapon?_

His face twisted into a sadistic grin, _You silly little Iwa-nin! Sending your national treasures after any little Leaf-nin that invades your territory!_ His fingers twisted into an A and the dialogue box popped up to tell him exactly what the sword was and his jaw dropped as he read:

 _Caliburn, a sword forged in the same generation by the same smith as the seven blades given to Kirigakure which later became famed as the Seven Swords of the Mist, Caliburn is one of the 5 superior swords kept by Iwagakure; Strength +10, Durability +10, Speed +10, Ice Affinity +20; Effect Damage: Ice Affinity * 5, ignores Durability Stats; Never dulls or weakens._

Tank held the blade in both hands with stunned reverence, _This is probably one of the five strongest swords in the world! What are the requirements?! They've gotta be insane…Requires: 40 Lifting/Swinging, FAAAAAAACK! 40 Water Affinity, 40 Wind Affinity, 40 Melee Weapons Speed…Okay, so aside from the Lifting/Swinging I'd be able to use it. Crapcrapcrap shoulda spent more time on that damn log! Ok, no big loss, into the sack…_

He placed the legendary sword in his backpack and grinned as it disappeared into the seal within, "Okay, that's one priceless weapon…let's see what else we've got!" _Gauntlets and armor…too heavy and would impede my jutsu…let's see, anything else…Scroll?_ He unfurled the parchment and a grin so massive his scarf couldn't conceal it grew behind his face, _Jackpot._ **Key Item: Map of Iwa Country**

He quickly placed the priceless map in his bag and renewed his search with even more excitement but was disappointed when he found nothing but some money.

He searched the other bodies and became steadily more frustrated as he found there was nothing beyond basic equipment that he could use until… _What's this?_ He unfurled the scroll that had been in the pouch of the unarmed fighter and quickly read it, a grin rapidly growing on his face as he read the jutsu labeled **_FORGE_**. Quickly tucking what was for him possibly the most valuable item of all into his backpack, he grinned and blinked out into the woods as he rose.

 _No enemies immediately visible,_ he thought to himself, _should probably expect some spawns or something to pop up as soon as I leave the clearing…well, no time like the present!_ And off he went.

==END CHAPTER==

 ** _AN:_** _Hey everybody! As promised, here's the first chapter of my first ever The Gamer story. Sorry, I know it's a little short, but it's basically the first chapter of the prologue, so don't worry, they'll get longer._

 _Since this is a gamer story, it seems only appropriate to include characters' stats at the end of every chapter, so here are Tank's as of now. There are other Hidden Stats which will play a role, but I'm not quite ready to reveal them just yet, so for now, here's his basic stats. If anyone has any questions, post them in a comment or send them to me in a PM and I'll happily answer them in the start of the next chapter._

 **STRENGTH**

hand/arm 28

leg 29

projectile throwing 32

lifting/swinging 34

crushing/gripping/biting 39

Overall 3.24

 **DURABILITY**

physical stamina 77

pain tolerance 75

physical durability 82

poison resistances 79

natural healing 79

Overall 7.84

 **Health** 159

 **SPEED**

hand 53

foot 49

projectile throwing 41

melee weapons 48

evasion 50

grappling 44

visual perception 100

rate of understanding T 71

rate of understanding P 37

Overall 9.86

 **INTELLIGENCE**

bodily 78

spatial 78

logical/mathematical 79

musicality 8

linguistic 74

physical artistic 74

interpersonal 76

intrapersonal 75

creativity 82

memory 77

gullibility 0

Overall 14.02

 **CHAKRA**

amount 74

regeneration 78

efficiency 76

available ninjutsu 81

available genjutsu 15

kekkai genkai 200

Overall 10.48

 **OTHER**

Accuracy 78

Patience 49

Confidence 58

Taijutsu Skill 80

Self Control 83

Overall 6.96

 **SENSES**

Sight 54

Hearing 100

Smell 76

Touch 82

Taste 52

Overall 7.28

 **OVERALL LEVEL 59.68**


	2. Chapter 2: Run run run

Chapter 2 – Scenario 1 Part 2

…

A Minute Later

…

Tank frowned as he stepped out of the clearing and the whole world suddenly became a massive octagonal honeycomb grid made of 10x10 ft panels, _The hell?_ A little Tips box appeared in front of him:

 _Move through the grid until you reach the exit._

Tank frowned, _This is new…ok, let's see…_ he raised a foot and stepped into the grid directly in front of him, his eyes wide and searching for danger as five sides of the grid suddenly started glowing, the strongest being the one accessing the grid right behind him. Another Tips box appeared in front of him,

 _Red means danger. Run run run little shinobi. They're trying to catch you._

Tank's eyes widened as the red started to glow more intensely, _Uh-oh…_ He took off at a run, heading straight forward, darting around the grids with obstacles like trees and rocks, steering clear of anything that had a big red exclamation point over it, and most all keeping an eye over his shoulder on the red fading with every new grid he entered until finally only the very back edge was pulsing a light pink. _Thank god I invested in speed…_ Tank thought as he paused to catch his breath. Then the back edge of the grid cranked up to blazing red and suddenly three grids behind Tank, an enemy shinobi appeared with armor and a katana that crackled with lightning. _SHIT!_ Tank thought before Body Flickering away.

It cost him a point of the 70/74 in his chakra pool, but it put the glow back to a faint pink. Now that he had _seen_ the grid, Tank understood the previously mysterious calculation for the Body Flicker: Distance Moved = Speed * (Efficiency/100) * Chakra Used. Previously he hadn't understood what it meant by distance moved, was it in inches? Meters? Miles? Now he knew, it was the number of grids.

Then a kunai whizzed past him and he had a terrible realization as he spun and saw the enemy shinobi charging him, _SHIT! I ONLY MOVED 70 FEET!_ He turned and Body Flickered again, only this time when he landed he started to chain his Body Flickers. 10 chakra points and a quarter mile later, Tank had another nasty realization: He'd run out of chakra a long time before he got out of that forest by simply chaining Body Flickers. _At 59 chakra I'd only make it 413 tiles, if I'm not out by then, then I'm toast!_

Tank frowned, _Not worth it._ He frowned as he saw the pink glows of two out of the eight sides of his current grid getting redder by the minute. Then he grinned, _trap time._ He pulled out a Paper Bomb and tossed it into the tile between the two grids that were growing steadily more dangerous. Then he skipped back two tiles and waited. With the two chakra he had put into it, the paper bomb would deal damage to everything within a two tile radius of it, _which at 2 times my crappy 45 Blast Affinity plus the flat 75 from being such a good paper bomb, is 165 to every enemy. Then I can use my Crimson Needle Storm Jutsu to finish them._

Tank watched and waited as the red borders got redder and redder. Luckily for him his targets were still coming right on course to walk right into his trap. When the targets drew into sight through the trees, Tank moved his fingers into position to form his A sign and then… _NOW!_ His middle finger twitched down into the cross bar of the A and the paper bomb erupted in a magnificent explosion that set fire to all five enemies in each tile (along with everything else)

Tank quickly flickered through the three hand signs he needed for his Crimson Needle Storm and then raised his hands as he put 2 chakra into the jutsu, one for each hand. A massive brace of red iron needles erupted from his forearms and then Tank grinned and aimed before flicking his fingers back into a double A sign at each squad of enemies. He flicked his fingers and let the needles fly.

129 needles rained down on the burning Iwa nin. Of those 129, 10 hit each Iwa nin and dealt over 15 damage each. In an instant, the Iwa nin dropped, their screams of agony silenced in gut churning gurgles as they fell to the ground enveloped in the crackle of flames and the stench of burning flesh. Tank shuddered as the smell reached him, _It's so much more gruesome when you can smell it and hear them…_

Then he shook his head and bounced away through the forested grid as happy little boxes congratulated him with a little chorus of tinny trumpet fanfares on his first kill, his fifth, his tenth, his first multiple kill, his first successful trap, killing the pursuit for the first time, his first Chunin grade kill, and his first Jonin grade kill. Tank gritted his teeth and flicked his fingers into multiple little A signs to dispel the boxes obscuring his view as the little experience bar that hovered just inside the right side of his peripheral vision rose almost a full tenth. _And this'll probably be the last real Experience gaining I'll be able to get for a while if I'm not able to convince Konoha that I really am a level 59.68 MONSTER. Of course, that shouldn't take long. Hopefully. Seriously, if they can't spot a near S-rank shinobi when they see one then they need their damn eyes checked._

He slowed to a halt as a horrible realization broke over him, _Oh god…what if the game's linear? Am I gonna have to go through YEARS of boring curb stomps before I can get to the stuff that'll actually challenge me?!_ He ran a hand through his hair and barked a few vicious swear words before continuing to run.

It was then that he realized that he had absolutely no idea where he was going. He paused to punch down a tree, _SHIT! WHICH WAY'S OUT OF HERE?!_

He sighed, _wish there was a bird's eye view POV…_ He frowned and glanced around, _ok, got some space to experiment…let's see…A…_ A dialogue box informed him that the nearest tree was a tree. He B signed to dispel the dialogue box and then, _B…Whoa!_ A burst of air suddenly erupted under him and launched him upwards before dissipating to let him land in a crouch.

Tank stared at his hands and then grinned, _BB!_ He flew into the air and then a second burst of air pushed him even higher, at no cost to his chakra. Tank's grin spread from ear to ear, _I CAN DOUBLE JUMP!_ _B!_ Another burst of air kept him up and allowed him to look around, quickly spotting the big glowing red arrow almost three miles away at the opening to a large canyon. _Bingo!_

Tank landed and frowned, _Hmm…I wonder…_ He slid into a stance and raised his guard with open palms. He flicked his thumb and fore finger together so that they formed his b sign and launched forward. The forward motion was so sudden that Tank almost face planted when he landed in the next grid. That didn't stop him from grinning ear to ear though, _Oh yeah. This'll work._

==Twenty Minutes Later==

Tank bounced up and over the cliff that marked the end of the level and landed in front of Kakashi and Itachi, who Tank was unsurprised to see was awake now. Tank glanced around as the grid disappeared, _cut scene?_

"Oh good," Kakashi declared, "You made it out. I'm really sorry, I thought you were right behind me."

Tank shrugged, "Eh, it's fine. I axed nearly a dozen more Iwa nin on my way out, got some good stuff from those back in the clearing, learned some new tricks." He grinned, "We'll call it a learning experience." Itachi and Kakashi blinked at him owlishly. Tank raised an eyebrow at them, "What? They started it." Kakashi and Itachi continued to blink owlishly at him in a silence that eventually started to grate on Tank's nerves. Tank sighed, _enough of this…A_.

"We should hurry back to Konoha," Kakashi declared. "Now if only the pass wasn't lined with explosives," Itachi grumbled with a worn out glance over his shoulder, "If we step on even one of those damned mines it'll kill all of us."

Tank extended a single finger and a kunai slid into his hand. Two fingers and the kunai whizzed past Itachi and slammed into the nearest bulge that denoted one of the landmines. Tank grinned as Itachi and Kakashi both jumped from their skins at the explosion, "There's my solution to that. A good impact can set them off, so…" He flipped through his hand signs and extended a hand, the crimson needles bursting out of his skin and then, _Sharingan…_

Itachi's jaw hit the ground as he saw Tank's Sharingan and then Tank fired his jutsu. Itachi jumped slightly at the massive chain of explosions that rattled all the way down the canyon, filling it all with smoke and dust. Tank looked at Kakashi, "Got any wind jutsu to clear out possible poisons?"

Kakashi stared at him and then, "Ah, yeah, gimme a minute." He looked at Itachi, "Itachi-kun, Great Breakthrough." Itachi continued to stare at the immense amount of destruction and then Kakashi waved a hand in front of his face, "Itaaachiii…"

Itachi didn't respond beyond an annoyed glance, he just flipped through a few handsigns and then a massive wind roared down the canyon whisking all the dust and smoke away. Tank shot a glance over his shoulder and frowned, "Hey guys, what's that white speck flying towards us?"

Kakashi and Itachi turned and their eyes widened in horror. Before Tank knew what was happening he was over Kakashi's shoulder being carried away at the fastest speed Kakashi could muster as Kakashi yelled, "Trouble!"

"That's the Tsuchikage's apprentice Deidara," Itachi explained as he ran, "He's one of if not _the_ greatest Blast Release user in the world and Iwa's most devastating combatant shy of the Tsuchikage himself! He's also bat shit crazy and a complete pyromaniac! That massive explosion probably drew his attention! If he catches us he'll rain explosions down on us from the sky and kill us without ever getting close! You shouldn't have set off all those mines! We came this way expressly _because_ of them! Nobody in their right mind would take this route so Iwa wouldn't have followed us!"

Tank pouted at him and then cast a glare at the tiny white speck that was Deidara. He flicked his fingers through the sign to access the Cheats Menu and then raised his hand in his A sign to fire at Deidara, _Alter Affiliation Deidara…_

Then the world shifted and Tank let his hand drop in shock as Kakashi Body Flickered them all the way down the canyon. _He just…interrupted…my cheat…_

Tank frowned angrily and let it go, _Next time._

==Meanwhile==

Deidara frowned as he circled over the spot where the Leaf-nin had been, all of his arguments and disagreements with the Tsuchikage flooding into his mind all at once. Deidara shot a glare over his shoulder and thought, _Ya know…maybe it's time I go out and get some REAL appreciation for my art…_

Kakashi set Tank down at the end of the canyon, "Alright, now for the escape. Itachi, have you got the map?" Itachi nodded and produced the map before setting it down and unfurling it. He quickly began to flicker through numerous hand signs and then the entire world seemed to melt and blur.

When things returned to their normal consistency, Kakashi grinned behind his mask, "Welcome to Fire Country." Tank's jaw dropped, " _You can teleport?! Why the hell didn't you use this back there when we found you?!"_

Itachi rolled up the map, "The Waypoints Jutsu requires chakra for every waypoint in the chain en route to where the user intends to go, and for every person you're carrying, the amount is increased. If you don't have enough chakra to get past all the Way Points, like I didn't just now, then this happens." He gestured to the scenery, "We're currently on the border of Grass Country and I just went from all my chakra down to a tenth of my full capacity. Had we used it sooner, we might've wound up dropping right into the heart of Kusa and having to risk either revealing one of Konoha's aces in the hole or starting a war by killing everyone present to suppress the information, which depending on who and how many we were confronted with might've been impossible given how draining a jutsu it is. That's why it's a jutsu that only our very strongest and most trusted shinobi are allowed to learn of. I'm not entirely sure why we didn't knock you out first?" He aimed that last as a question at Kakashi.

Kakashi shrugged, "Slipped my mind. Saikoro-kun will keep quiet though, won't you Saikoro-kun?" "Call me Tank," Tank grumbled, then he perked up slightly, "And I _really_ want to know how that works some time. That is like the coolest thing I've ever seen, and I have seen some _seriously_ cool shit."

Kakashi smiled, "Maybe some other time, for now, let's get going!"

A little box with cheerful golden trim and a tinny trumpet fanfare that Tank was sure only he could see appeared behind Kakashi,

 _Mission Complete! Escape From Iwa!_

 _Exp: +2500_

Tank frowned slightly at it as his experience bar rose a single chink. Then a little objectives box appeared below that,

 _Begin Mission! The Road to Konoha!_

 _Now that you've escaped from Iwa, it's time to head to your new home in Konoha!_

Tank sighed, _Well, that's the prologue out of the way._ He grinned, _Now on to the main event!_

 **AN:** _Yeah, I know, another short chapter. Don't worry, this is the end of the prologue. The next one should be a bit longer. No stats this time, I'm keeping them under wraps for now. Instead, the mechanics of Tank's Crimson Needle Storm jutsu!_

 **Crimson Needle Storm:**

Damage per needle = (((Physical Durability + Steel Affinity) * (Accuracy/100) * Efficiency * Chakra Used)/# of Targets) – ((Target's physical durability + Steel Affinity)/100)

Number of needles = Steel Affinity * (Efficiency/100) * Chakra used

Range in tiles = Chakra used

Number of Impacts = Number of Needles * (Accuracy/100)

 _For those wondering about Tank's kekkai genkai score, half of it is the double kekkai genkai that allows him access to Crimson Needle Storm, the Tetsukkomyaku, which is the result of a Shikotsumyaku user having Steel Release. 50 of it is his Sharingan, and the other 50 is his Boil Release, which he got by dint of being the 5-Tails Jinchuriki. (Having a Kekkai Genkai is always a flat 50 towards Kekkai Genkai score, each extra one stacks)_


	3. Chapter 3: The Road to Konoha Pt1

Chapter 3 – The Road to Konoha Pt1

"So I get why we can't risk word of that jutsu getting out," Tank mused, "But why couldn't we just move the Way Point? Or eliminate some to open an instant escape route? Like if Konoha was the only Way Point, then we'd be able to use it anywhere, right?"

Kakashi nodded, "Theoretically yes, but the Way Point jutsu is something of a misnomer. It's not "Way Point" as in something we can control, it's _Ley_ Point. Are you familiar with Ley Lines?"

Tank shook his head, "No." Kakashi nodded, "Oookaaay, how to explain…" Itachi leaned forward, "You know how your body has its chakra points and flows right?"

Tank nodded, "yeah." "Well the world has similar points and flows of nature energy," Itachi explained, "It's like a flowing river of energy. It's very hard to tap into and hitch a ride on, but Lord Jiraiya of the Sannin figured out how to do it thanks to his Sage abilities. The Way Points jutsu lets us hitch a ride in the flow of natural energy, but it's really hard for the user to keep from getting torn apart at the crossroads, and it's difficult to get back out once you're in. That's why only very powerful shinobi with extreme control of themselves and their chakra can do it, and even then we need Lord Jiraiya's seals to do it."

"As for what you were saying about destroying points to make it easier," Itachi continued, "It would take a monumental amount of destructive power to accomplish, and there's no telling what such a disruption of the world's energy flows could do. On top of that," he added, "Ley Lines are always near large population centers. The more lines cross beneath a point, the larger the population drawn to that point will be. For example, Konoha has _seventy-eight_ lines converging in a very tight area beneath it. To destroy even a single intersection would require enough destructive power to level a city block. To destroy all of them would require obliterating Konoha and the ground under it. You'd have to turn the entire village into a _crater_ to even think about destroying all the Ley Points _._ And if we had that kind of power…"

"Then we wouldn't need the Ley Points anyway," Tank finished. Then he looked around, "So what large population center are we near right now?"

"Have you ever heard of Shikkotsu Forest?" Kakashi asked with a smile, "It's the home of the Slug Summons. We won't be passing directly through their domain, even with the pact they have with Lady Tsunade, it would still be unwise for us to intrude into their domain. There are only six lines intersecting in this region, and Shikottsu Forest is down there in that valley, right smack dab in the middle of them."

Tank eyed the foggy bottom with a degree of respect, "So anywhere Ley Lines cross that there's not a human settlement there's probably summon creatures?"

Kakashi nodded, "Quite often yes." "So if I learn that jutsu I can go find a summon creature?" Tank asked with a grin growing.

"Or you could get sucked into a lethal riptide of natural energy and suffer the effects of having all of the chakra in your body turn into whatever element you're unfortunate enough to tap into a line of," Kakashi replied. Tank's grin immediately vanished, "You're right, bad idea, but you have a map right?"

"A top secret highly classified map that is way above your clearance level," Itachi clarified. Tank pouted at him, "Spoilsport." Itachi just shrugged with a thin smile, "We should get going. We need to get back to Konoha."

"So how many Way Points are there?" Tank asked after walking a few minutes in silence. "We estimate the number to be in the hundreds of thousands," Kakashi replied airily, "We don't have nearly that many mapped." He paused and then looked at Tank, "You're going to ask how many have summon creatures right?"

Tank nodded, "Yep. That and what they are, if you know." Kakashi shrugged, "No idea. My summon hounds are strays I personally took in and trained off the streets of Konoha, so I have no idea. Same with Itachi's crows."

Tank raised an eyebrow, "So you can train regular animals into summon creatures?" Kakashi nodded, "Especially the ones from Ninja villages because of how many Ley Lines collide under them. The ones from places like Shikkotsu Forest are generally stronger and more capable of jutsu, but there's nothing at all wrong with regular animals."

Itachi shot him a glance, "Kakashi-senpai, not to overstep my bounds, but aren't you telling him a bit too much? I know who you said he is, but still…"

Kakashi smiled at Itachi, "Don't worry so much Itachi-kun, if he tries anything funny, I'll kill him myself. How's that? Besides, his parents would beat me to it if he tried to betray Konoha."

Itachi eyeballed Tank warily, "You _do_ realize that he's smarter than I am, right? AND a lot stronger? He's only a step away from being S-Rank powerful."

Tank stiffened slightly and then, "I see." His Sharingan suddenly blazed for an instant of blurred motion, and then he blinked it back off and shot Itachi a crooked grin, "How ya doin' Two? Don't believe I properly introduced myself earlier. I'm Five," he declared as he extended a hand.

Itachi's heart skipped a beat as that registered and then everything made sense. He shook the hand, "Well, that explains everything. Sorry for being so wary, it's second nature to me these days."

Tank smiled, "None taken! I wouldn't trust me either." What Itachi and Kakashi hadn't seen was the flood of information that Tank had just used his Sharingan to process, the presentation of three options for responses which could make or break his relationship with Itachi, or the way Tank had been able to examine the pros and cons of all three possible outcomes.

Even for Itachi, who himself could see peoples' names, levels and intelligence stats, couldn't have imagined that so much more information was available. Although now, as he realized how fast Tank's eyes had moved, he began to wonder, _Just what all can Tank see?_

Before he could wonder any further though, Kakashi's hand snapped up in the signal for silence before motioning for them to hide. Moments later, a gang of men in hoods came out of the trees. They were all armed, if crudely, and one and all grungy and in sore need of a bath. Itachi didn't even need to look to know that Kakashi's sensitive nose was wrinkling in distaste. More important than the stench though, were the freshly bloodied weapons, bulging sacks of unidentified materials and unconscious tied up women hefted over the shoulders of two of the bigger men. Clearly they were bandits fresh from a raid.

Even as Itachi glanced across the clearing to Kakashi for instructions, it felt like the ground shook a little and then there was a thunderous sound like a mix between a lion's roar and a foghorn. Itachi nearly fell out of his tree in shock. Tank had thrown caution to the wind and hit the ground the instant he realized what he was looking at, his chakra flaring like a bonfire around him and murder in his eyes. The sound had been him. If Itachi hadn't had his Sharingan active, he would've missed what happened next as the clearing was suddenly filled with steam and Tank seemed to teleport.

The shockingly quick movement was Tank Body Flickering twice in an instant, using his steam to blast his speed even higher. In the space of an instant, he had carved open every one of the bandits. Itachi wasn't sure where the wickedly serrated blade in his hand had come from, but after a moment it became apparent that it was a manifestation of Tank's kekkai genkai as Tank reabsorbed it.

Tank flexed the hand that he had manifested his blade from and absorbed it back into it. Then he strode over to the tied up women, who had been jarred awake by their rough landings. Tank effortlessly cut them loose with a steel claw and helped them back to their feet, "Lady Ursa, Lady Azula, are you alright?"

Kakashi nearly voided his bowels in shock as he recognized the Fire Daimyo's wife and daughter. They both wore long, dark red dresses that concealed a lot of their bodies, although Itachi was pretty sure from the build of their faces that they were both slimly built. Their hair was long and dark, although they both had their hair mostly tied up on top of their heads. They were both rather pale and had long straight black hair, but their eyes were a golden almost yellow brown that Itachi noted was extremely pretty. _Actually_ , he thought to himself, _everything about them is really pretty._

"Yes, thank you," the Daimyo's wife Lady Ursa replied as she rubbed her wrists, "Are you a shinobi?"

Kakashi decided now would be a good time to show himself. He shed his mask and stuck it in a pouch, motioning for Itachi to do the same before leaping down into the clearing, "Yes Lady Ursa, we are Konoha shinobi. May I ask how you came to be apprehended by these thugs? I can't imagine such weaklings overpowering any of the Twelve Guardians."

"It was another shinobi," she replied, "His body was immune to even my samurais' blades. Even as they were cutting him he healed, and his jutsu was…extraordinarily destructive. I am surprised you didn't hear the battle. He dragged them away after doing something to their bodies, then he told these men they could do as they pleased with us."

"Oh look," Azula said idly, "This one is still alive." Indeed although the bandit's stomach was rent open from Tank's sword, he was still breathing and narrowly conscious.

"Yes," Tank replied, "I thought he might be able to give us some information."

"Can I kill him when you're done? He presumed to touch me in some rather off limits places and had some…coarse? Intentions towards me."

Tank's eloquent reply was to offer her a blade, "Do as you wish milady. May I assist you? I know quite a lot about human anatomy, especially the spots that really REALLY hurt."

Itachi frowned, _why did Tank blink his Sharingan on and back off for a second?_ Next thing Itachi knew though, Tank and the Fire Lord's daughter were behind a bush with a lot of screaming going on that Kakashi and Lady Ursa didn't seem to be hearing or even noticing. _In fact,_ Itachi mused, _they don't even seem to realize that Tank and Azula have moved out of sight._

A few minutes later there was a flash of blue light which Itachi realized quickly was a fire jutsu of some sort as the blue light continued to dance behind the bush. There were some interesting sounds from behind the bush as the smell of burning flesh filled the air. Then, a few more minutes later, along with some _interesting_ noises that Itachi wasn't sure he really wanted to know about including an utterly _deranged_ cackle, little pink hearts that Itachi couldn't un-see erupted into the air from behind the bush. Once again though, Kakashi and Lady Ursa didn't seem to notice anything out of the ordinary. Itachi was seriously starting to wonder if Tank had used some sort of genjutsu on them to keep them from noticing that he was very clearly making out with the Fire Lord's daughter back there. Itachi _hoped_ Tank was just making out with her, a Leaf shinobi getting the Fire Lord's daughter pregnant out of wedlock could have some seriously nasty political repercussions, especially since sex norms were a lot stricter outside of the Hidden Villages...

Tank and the Fire Lord's daughter stepped back out of the bush a few minutes later looking slightly disheveled and a little punch drunk. Azula looked a bit star struck and out of breath. Tank looked smugger than the cat that got not just a canary but a freaking _eagle_.

"The shinobi was Kakuzu, formerly of the Hidden Waterfall," Tank declared as though nothing had happened, "He hired the bandits so that they could provide a distraction while he axed the two Guardians protecting Lady Ursa and Azula-chan for their bounties. I think he was intending to let the bandits have them rather than ransom them back so that we'd be more preoccupied with finding them than him. He didn't expect anyone to be able to find out who he was, but a look into the leaders' head and a quick look at the Bingo Book," he waved the book in question, "made it clear pretty quickly. The immunity to blades fits as well."

"Would you mind escorting us the rest of the way to our destination?" Azula asked.

"Of course," Kakashi replied, "It's our duty as Leaf-nin."

Itachi was starting to _seriously_ wonder how nobody had noticed the lipstick on Tank's cheek and neck yet.

…

…

 **AN:** _For those wondering, yes I am a fan of Avatar The Last Airbender. Also, no, Tank and Azula did not go all the way. Oral yes, full on sex, no. How did this happen you ask? Tank used the cheat menu because he thought Azula was sexy._

 _Why is Itachi the only one noticing all this? You'll have to wait and see. ;)_


End file.
